Today

Happy holiday friends! Today Brayden and I will join some family and friends in the park for food & play and plan on playing the rest of our day by ear. Last year was such a good day for our little family. I was thankful that Tommy was able to spend the holiday with us (he was scheduled to deploy the following day). Thinking back on this day a year ago I cannot recall every detail but what I do remember so vividly is the feeling that carried throughout the entire day. I felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude. Today, that gratitude still stands. Our little family is in a different season in life now than we were a year ago but without a doubt still have so much to be grateful for. Have a lovely day with those you love friends! Thank you for stopping by. xo

Photo | Pinterest (source unknown)

Tommy | Unexpected Moments

One of the sweetest moments I remember from October is a gentlemen introducing himself and sharing words that unexpectedly meant so much. I had unknowingly shared an evening in Seattle with him & my husband among a group of friends (with such a large group I didn't remember him). He explained how though that had been the only occasion he'd spent time with the two of us that it was so apparent how much Tommy loved me by the way he treated me and admired me that night. What sweet words to hear from a stranger. I truly am so lucky to have Tommy's love.

Photo | Tacoma Waterfront Summer 2012

Life Lately | Belonging

Do you ever find yourself in a place where you're not even really sure where to start? I am feeling that way about shifting our lives from our small Washington home to two shared spaces in California.

While I feel entirely welcomed in both my parent's home & my kind in-loves (in-laws) I still cannot help but feel so out of place at times. Earlier last week I found myself in an empty house going through one of our moving boxes. I took about an hour to sort through some small items, including my inexpensive (yet loved) jewelry and other miscellaneous bathroom belongings. At the end of two hours I had added a handful of items to my "no longer need" box, some items had been tossed in the trash and some went back into a smaller box looking much more organized than before. Was there a significant difference in how Tommy's old bedroom looked? No, not really. It still looked like a sea of boxes with a bed somewhere lost in it but I still felt accomplished at the end of that quiet time sorting through some things.

It's important for me to create a space for B and I to feel like we belong, like we fit. We're so blessed with a loving family that welcomes us into their homes but currently this doesn't ensure a feeling of belonging.

Our son's sweet smile already tells me he feels at home here. Part of that "we fit here" feeling is creating a space for us in both homes where he feels he belongs, where we feel we belong. Of course, I also want him to feel comfortable with things getting a bit messy at times. It's all a balance. Here's to a weekend of editing out those items we no longer need & to slowly creating a space for us.

Photo | Huntington Beach, CA

Thoughts | Hello Again

Happy February sweet readers. I'm still figuring out what this little corner of the internet means to me. Truly though, I simply want to connect with others.

Some time this month I hope to share some sweet notes from my Tommy. Funny thing, I don't think I had noticed that he would always capitalize N & M throughout his writing. Isn't it sweet to know small details about a person? Seeing his handwringing is just another reminder to put pen to paper more often.

Photo | Publsbo, WA Tommy and I decided last minute to go on a little trip as a family of three on a long weekend.

Thoughts | New Year

A small list of six things I want to be more intentional about this year and years to follow. What are some of the things on your list? 

Traditions | I want to be intentional about starting traditions for our little family. It seems like we've glady by chance started one this October by having a family style meal at an Italian restaurant Tommy and I loved while dating. We'd enjoy delicious focaccia bread, followed by our favorite barbque chicken pizza.

Photos | Often I do poorly capturing life through photos. I not only want to capture more moments in time but also go the next step and have them turned into something tangible. Artifact Uprising makes some beautifully designed photo books. How do you display your photos? What websites do you use to compile a book?

Writing | While having social media to connect with friends is convient something is lost through it. There is something so refreshing about putting pen to paper. It's been nice to do some personal journaling and also meaningful to send mail to friends.

Reading | Often I find myself fixed to the virtual world. I'd like to steer away from this and add meaningful books to my library. One thing I look forward to Brayden enjoying one day is Tommy's book collection. There's something intimate about knowing a person's book collection and I know B will enjoy knowing that part of his daddy. 

Venturing | I'm guilty of staying within my comfort zone. I live in an area where there is so much to see and experience. Here's to venturing out more! Friends, where do you like to go in southern California? Please tell!

Giving | As I had mentioned before, it's floored me all that people have given to our family during this season in life. Everyone's kindness has inspired me to serve others more. 

Photo | I've loved admiring beautiful blue skies of southern California since being home. 

Tommy | Life's Seasons

When my sweet Brayden and I left Washington behind in August I didn't realize that we would be coming back to cool breezes and falling leaves. September brought change. The sun still kissed the Pacific Northwest's beautiful greenery and for that I was grateful but autumn was undoubtably around the corner.

Now, our little family is in its own season of change. Christmas Eve brought us back to California, close to family and friends. While it feels this is now where we belong there is something that still feels foreign. This place is once again our home and while it feels so right I am now realizing that our sweet Tommy was our home in so many ways.

While there are moments in life where it feels like he's the only one that is able to be there in the way I need someone to be, there are still so many where the love and support from wonderful people in our lives has warmed my heart. It has meant so much to me. To give a glimpse to what this has meant, below are the words that I shared on a chilly Washington afternoon with family and friends at Tommy's memorial.

I look forward to sharing photos from that day in the near future. Thank you Jaquilyn for capturing those moments that our son will not remember being present at, yet I will be able to share with him through you lovely images.

Photo | Tacoma's beautiful changing leaves while on a walk with my baby toddler in our neighborhood. I still like to think of little B as my baby but he's just four months shy of two years old and is most definitely a toddler. Our children will never stop being our babies, right?

Tommy | Finding Words

There was no need for words. There is only one reason gentlemen in uniform come to you while your husband is overseas. Since that day, I have wanted to put into words my emotions and experiences. Needless to say, this has been a struggle.

I have not thought of the words I would say to my sweet husband. I simply have an overwhelming desire to be able to touch him one last time. I picture myself being able to hold his hand or softly touch his cheek and just be able to look him in the eyes. There would be no need for words; both he and I would simply know just by looking at one another. Tommy would know how great of a man I think he is without a single word.

I am unsure of where this series of posts will go but thank you in advance for taking time to read. 

Thoughts | On Time

Since I stumbled across this article, I cannot help but reflect a bit more on how I am spending my time. Throughout the day I ask myself questions like, “Is this really how I want to be spending my time right now?” or “Is this a priority at the moment?” I know it may sound simple but it has really made a difference. Now things that I didn’t have time for have become things that are simply not a priority. I’ve changed my language and therefore have changed my way of thinking. How do you feel at the end of your day about how you are spending your time?

Photo | One of my favorite things about coming back home is jogs on the beach. It's about taking a moment to take in the beautiful scenery.

Thoughts | On Connecting

It’s always refreshing to come across words that are inevitably genuine. Ariel and Jessica have inspired me to do the same. When I first was drawn to blogging a few years ago I would simply share things that inspired me and caught my eye. I didn’t start to get more personal with what I shared on my blog until Thomas and I found out we were expecting our first child and since his arrival my blogging has been sporadic. I don’t nearly spend as much time browsing blogs as I used to. Now there are a few I visit frequently, sprinkled with some others I happen to stumble upon. Those that I frequent though all have something in common- they’re personal. All in their own way, but yet readers get a glimpse at the person behind the blog. So although I am not quite sure what I will be sharing here, I do know that I want it to feel genuine to who I am and personal. My hope is to connect with like minded individuals and create friendships that otherwise would not have been.

Photo | While pushing B along on a jog, I had to stop and quickly capture the solitude of this man with the sky's colors as the backdrop.

Thoughts | Blogging

Today I attended my first "3rd Thursday" event at the Seattle Design Center with my classmates Katherine and Sophie. The speaker: Ronna Detrick. Topic: Blogging, Social Media, and Shameless Self-Promotion. And now here I am! I had been playing with the idea of jumping into the blogging world for some time but today was definitely the push to do it. So here I am. I am officially in the blog world. My blog birth date: 18 February 2010.